Wednesday, October 14, 2009

The Burmese Python; Or, The End

I always knew it was a bad idea. A rotten idea. An idea from which no good could come. An idea which would cause regret, pain, and misery, not to mention loss of peripheral vision, hair loss, potential decrease of bone density, heart murmurs, epileptic fits, periods of OCD or MPD, cravings for pickled eggs, the smell of putrefying flesh, and a colossal loss of time and money, not to say cumulative exhaustion, lingering anxiety, weeks of unwashed laundry, unreturned phone calls, unpaid bills, and lost socks.

So we can all acknowledge and agree that it was a thoroughly bad idea. But what a way to go, and how much less interesting had I listened to sage wisdom and well-intentioned advice and avoided the whole fiasco. Hindsight may be 20/20, but near-sighted astigmatism results in some pretty amusing misconceptions.

price and product comparisons of GPS systems, before deciding that paper map technology is much less confusing

trees dropping leaves to reveal the restrained glory of branches and sky