Wednesday, September 9, 2009

seven league boots

So when, for curiosity's sake, one has been to the Poles, to the moon, to the bottom of the ocean; when one has crossed the tracks and explored life on the other side;
when one has worn a wig, glasses, and a disguise and passed as the butcher, the baker, the candlestick maker, the soldier, sailor, tinker, tailor, rich man, poor man, beggar man, thief, and all of the wives of each;
when one has been a scientist, musician, poet, and statistician;
when one has built the bow and carved the arrow and downed the deer, skinned, roasted, tanned, packaged, and sold;
when one has built a hovercraft using the motor from a vacuum cleaner and sold a fake Picasso for a record amount at auction;
when one has studied voodoo and spiritualism, contacted the spirit world, and cast a hex;
when one has caused the stock market to balloon and deflate instigated by a carefully disseminated rumor about political instability in a third world country which no one had previously heard of but could potentially have 90% of the world's copper reserves;
when one has rewired an entire house to run off of the stationary bicycles in use at the gym down the street;
when one has trained cats to walk in single file and dogs to play poker and hamsters to only run on their wheels every hour on the hour for three minutes and thirty three seconds;
when one has surreptitiously reformatted all of the street signs in a town to be in German Blackletter fonts rather than Helvetica;
when one has invented a board game and exploited a Ponzi scheme and founded a university and perfected a blackjack technique;
when one has contacted aliens and released a platinum album and been on the front page of the Times;
when one has sliced, diced, and julienned all that life traditionally has to offer --
what next?

the adventures of Richard Halliburton

exhilarating (tho fighting the disappearance of the sun with all my powers)