Friday, February 22, 2008

indecisive sunsets

What are you trying to accomplish, hidden under hair, bangs shielding from the world? Curled in a ball. Camouflaged. Hidden in plain sight: disappeared into the center of the room. Do you want to be noticed? Do you want approval? Do you want love? Is any attention preferable to no attention, an inadvertent kick, bruise, scuff better than the death of not existing?

We exist only when we are acknowledged. To become an integral aspect of someone else's reality thus validating the value of our own footprint, contribution. The immune system falters if the pack is incomplete. Without external support, daily habits morph and disappear.

Work. Push papers. Eat. Buy groceries. Shop. Take out trash. In this we have no meaning; the daily routine unvalued until it is someone else's trash, someone else's laundry, someone else's dinner. Through their existence are you fulfilled, the payment a scritch behind the ear, the cost an occasional bruise. Would you have it any other way?

The code of civilization soon lost, the language, rules, expectations forgotten, but the lingering memory that civilization brings with it warmth of lit fires and tastes of cooked meals and treats of affection: the strength of the memory of the promises that were, the deal in your grasp, if you would follow the rules and wait your turn, watching from behind your hair for the opportunity to become the axis, the keystone, the lynch pin. And so you wait, curled in a ball, hidden in plain sight.




Sextet [apologies to Philip Glass]

One. Heavy breathing.
One. Two. A dog barking.
One. Heavy breathing.
One. Heavy breathing.
One. Heavy breathing.

Two. A dog barking.
One. Heavy breathing.
Two. A dog barking.
One. Heavy breathing.
Two. A dog barking.
Three. Papers rustle.

Three. Papers rustle.
Two. A dog barking.
Three. Papers rustle.
One. Heavy breathing.

One. Heavy breathing.
One. Heavy breathing.
Three. Papers rustle.
One. Heavy breathing.

Two. A dog barking.
Three. Papers rustle.
Two. A dog barking.
One. Heavy breathing.

Two. A dog barking.
Three. Papers rustle.
Four. Scratching. Scratching. Pen noises.
One. Heavy breathing.

One. Heavy breathing.
One. Heavy breathing.
Three. Papers rustle.
Two. A dog barking.
One. Heavy breathing.

Two. A dog barking.
Four. Scratching. Scratching. Pen noises.
Four. Scratching. Scratching. Pen noises.
Four. Scratching. Scratching. Pen noises.

One. Heavy breathing.
One. Heavy breathing.
Two. A dog barking.
Three. Papers rustle.
Four. Scratching. Scratching. Pen noises.
Three. Papers rustle.
Four. Scratching. Scratching. Pen noises.
Five. The interminable tick of the clock.

Two. A dog barking.
Four. Scratching. Scratching. Pen noises.
Two. A dog barking.
One. Heavy breathing.

Three. Papers rustle.
Two. A dog barking.
Four. Scratching. Scratching. Pen noises.
Five. The interminable tick of the clock.

Two. A dog barking.
One. Heavy breathing.
Six. Water.
One. Heavy breathing.
One. Heavy breathing.

One. Heavy breathing.
Two. A dog barking.
Three. Papers rustle.
Two. A dog barking.
Three. Papers rustle.

Five. The interminable tick of the clock.
Six. Water.
Five. The interminable tick of the clock.
Four. Scratching. Scratching. Pen noises.
Three. Papers rustle.
Two. A dog barking.



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weather you guessed it! more snow!